City of Betrayal
by booklover3200
Summary: When Jace cheats on Clary her first instinct is to run far away from the New York institute. After some careful thinking there is a slight change of plans. Clary wants revenge and that's exactly what she plans to get but a long time friend sees a chance to woo the girl he's been in love with for so long. Can things ever seem normal again or will it always be a City of Betrayal.
1. To be

**Disclaimer: All rights to The Mortal Instruments belong solely to Cassandra Clare. **  
><strong>Author's Note: Sebastian is not and has not ever been Clary's brother in this particular fanfiction. <strong>

**Clary's POV: **

I walk to Jace's room after my shower. We had spent most of the day training. After the war and everything, everyone thought it would be best for me to focus on my training. It's been two years since then and I have improved dramatically. Simon is on his way to becoming a Shadowhunter, and Sebastian was in Australia for extended training. He was badly injured in the war so they sent him there where he could be trained exclusively. I miss him a lot and I hope he comes home soon. Skyping only does so much.  
>I walk into Jace's room, shut, and lock it behind me. He is standing with his back to me but turns when he hears the door. His golden eyes meet my green ones and he smiles.<br>"Clary whatever brings you to my room?" He says playfully.  
>I decide to play along. "You know the usual. To sit and talk about daggers and demons and the hundred different ways to avoid Izzy's cooking," I get a chuckle in response as he moves closer. He places his hands on my waist and pulls me close.<br>"Are you sure that's all you came here for?" He whispers in my ear. I smile and nod my head. "Well I think I'll have to change the plans just a little," he says. His lips touch mine in a gentle kiss. He kisses me slowly and runs his hand up my back sending tingles down my body.  
>He parts my lips with his and our tongues touch. Our kiss grows heated and he pulls me tighter against him. I moan against his mouth and he pushes me to the bed, climbing on top of me.<br>I tug on his shirt and he pulls it off, throwing it to the floor. My hands run up his muscular back and over his chest. He moans quietly against my mouth. Somehow my shirt has found it's way to the floor. I roll so that I am straddling Jace's hips. I kiss him deeply as he works the clasp of my bra. It gets tossed to the floor and he sits up, wrapping his arms around me.  
>His mouth latches on to my nipple and I moan loudly, fisting my hands in his hair. He growls low in his throat and I'm under him again. He tugs my miniskirt off along with his jeans. The only barrier between us now is his briefs and my lacy panties. He grinds his hips down into mine and I arch my back and moan loudly.<br>He runs his hands down my body and rubs me through my panties. I grind up into his hand. We are both panting and his lips find mine again. He pulls our underwear off and kisses my neck. He sucks on my pulse and works his way down my body.  
>"Enough foreplay, Jace" I say breathlessly. He chuckles and positions himself above me.<p>

**Later: **  
>I lay in his arms as we catch our breath and he whispers sweet things in my ear. He murmurs about different things but I don't catch most of it.<br>"I love you, Clary," he says finally. I lean up and kiss him tenderly.  
>"I love you, too."<p> 


	2. Or not to be

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments**  
><strong>Author's Note: I will just remind you once more that Sebastian is Not nor was ever Clary's brother in this fanfiction. <strong>

**Jace's POV' (2 days later)-**

I walk down the dark alleyway next to a low-end boutique somewhere near the Institute. It is close to midnight and I am beat from a long day of training and hunting, but I have waited all week for this.  
>I lean against the wall and wait for my companion to arrive. The whole ordeal started about a month ago. I know that it is wrong and that Clary would be destroyed if she found out, but this is something I needed to do to feel like myself. I still love Clary, but lately I've started to wonder if love is all there is.<br>The clicking of heels on the pavement brings me out of my thoughts.  
>"I thought you'd never get here," I say laughing.<br>"Well, your thoughts have been wrong a number of times, darling," answers a female voice. She steps up close in front of me and I'm again mesmerized by how beautiful she is. Her blond hair falls in ringlets around her heart-shaped face. Her big eyes captivate with their electric blue color. She is tall, but not as tall as I am, maybe two or three inches shorter. Her curvy figure and long legs are clad in skinny jeans and a halter-top.  
>"Don't you think it's a little cold for a halter top, love?" I ask slyly.<br>"Well, yes it is a bit chilly, "she says, "but I bet you could warm me up," she leans close and whispers seductively in my ear. I pull her against me roughly and whisper back.  
>"I bet I could." I hear a sharp intake of breath but it didn't come from the blond beauty in front of me. I turn my head and catch sight of someone's wild red, curly hair.<br>Clary.

**Hey, sorry that this chapter is so short, it was kind of just a filler chapter. I promise the next one will be longer. :-) **


	3. What's wrong with me?

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments; unfortunately, that bragging right belongs to the amazing Cassandra Clare.**

**Clary's POV**

I run back to the Institute, tears running down my face. My heart hammers in my chest so hard I'm sure everyone in New York can hear it. Imagine all the people waking up to the sound of a brokenhearted girl's heartbeat. I laugh through my tears at the silly visual.  
>I sprint to my room and slam the door shut. I collapse on my bed and stare at the ceiling, silently sobbing. <em>Why. Why tonight of all nights did I have to catch him doing thi<em>s, I ask myself, _who cheats on their girlfriend on their anniversary? _  
>I start crying harder and burry my face in a pillow to muffle the sound on my loud breathing. Someone beats on the door.<br>"Clary!" Jace yells through the door, "Clary, open the door. I can explain. It wasn't what it looked like!"  
><em>It wasn't what it looked like? This bitch!<em>  
>I suddenly feel hot anger bubble inside me. I jump from the bed and throw open the door. Before he can get a word in, I start yelling.<br>"It wasn't what it looked like!? Tell me, Jace, what exactly was it, since I obviously can't see correctly? Huh? Cuz' it looked like you were about to hook up with some blond _bitc_h in a dark alley on our _anniversary_!"  
>His face is set in shock as he stutters out his sentence. "It's...it's umm...it's not that simple...look Clary...it's...complicated."<br>My vision goes red around the edges and I snap. "It's _COMPLICATED_!_? _I catch you cheating on me and all you have to say is it's complicated? Is that all our relationship means to you? Did you even really love me? "My voice cracks at the end and I can feel the warm trail of tears on my face.  
>Jace wears a pained expression as he talks. "Of course I loved you, I still do. I made a mistake and I'm sorry. I just missed how I used to be. How I used to be before you." He reaches out a hand to stroke my cheek but I flinch away from his hand. Hurt flashes across his face but is soon replaced by shame.<br>"Let me make it up to you, okay? I promise it won't happen again. I know what i want now," he says. I can tell from the look on his face that his words are true, but I can't bring myself to trust him right now.  
>I look up into his golden eyes, the eyes that had looked at me with love so many times. I wonder how many times that love had been false. "How long, Jace?" I ask quietly.<br>"A month," he replies, shame etched into his handsome features. I feel my heart drop into my stomach. _A month. He cheated on me for a whole month. _The information refuses to make sense to me.  
>"I need time. I can't just forgive you for something like this. I can't, I just...can't. I need time. And space. Okay?"<br>"Okay." He retreats slowly to his own room and Izzy emerges from her's. Her eyes were heavy with pity and she quickly walked over to me and wrapped me in her arms. I start to sob heavily into her shoulder and she strokes my hair telling me it will be alright.  
>After I quiet down, we go into the room and close the door. She sits at my vanity table and I collapse in a heap onto the bed. We stay quiet for a long time, the only sound in the room being my hiccupping breath.<br>"I have to leave, Izzy. I can't stay here. Not with him," I say suddenly. I don't know where the idea came from but as the seconds tick by I grow fonder of it. Izzy looks at me hard and then talks.  
>"Carissa, you will NOT under <em>an<em>y circumstances leave this Institute because Jace decided to be a _dic_k." She smiles slightly and continues, "Besides, it's always better to get even." I raise an eyebrow at her as the meaning to her words sink into my frayed brain.  
>I smile slowly, all thoughts of leaving fleeing my mind. "And what would you have in mind, Isabelle?" I ask.<br>"You'll see," he says slyly.

**Jace's POV**

I sit in my room with several bottles of Gin. I know that getting drunk is not the answer to any problems but then again, neither is calling the blond beauty. But that's exactly what I'm doing. I sit on the phone with her as I steadily get drunker and eventually I ask her to come over.  
>She is a shadowhunter from Australia sent here to replace Sebastian while he is gone. She doesn't live at the institute and none of the others seem to know she's here at all.<br>My door opens and closes but I don't look up. I know who it is. After a month of sneaking around with someone, you get to know the sound of their footsteps.  
>"Hey, Jessica," I say quietly.<br>"Dude. You look like shit," she says mater-of-factly.  
>I chuckle and say, "Well I feel like shit so I guess it fits the description."<br>She knocks the bottles out the way and sits, straddling my waist.  
>"I bet I could make you feel better," She says seductively. And despite everything that has happed and despite the fact that I have realized I want Clary and not Jessica, I bring her lips down on mine.<br>We kiss passionately and stand up, her legs wrapped around my waist. She parts my lips with hers and our tongues touch. They battle for dominance and she eventually gives up. I lay down on the bed on my back. She straddles me, pulls off her halter-top and bra, and then pulls of my shirt.  
>I sit up and plant kisses down her neck causing her to moan quietly. She moans louder when I take one of her nipples into my mouth. I flip us over so that I am on top and pull of the rest of our clothes. She reaches down and takes my cock in her hand, stroking me. I let out a strangled cry and continue to moan.<br>She suddenly stops and plants her lips on mine again. She tastes different from Clary. Like pineapples and vodka. It hurts to think about Clary so I block all thoughts of her from my mind. Jessica grinds her hips up into mine and moans.  
>I reach down, put two fingers deeply inside her, and pump in and out slowly at first, and then faster as her moans grow louder.<br>"Jace," she says panting, "now, please." I smile and kiss her slowly and position myself at her entrance. I push into her slowly and as time goes on, I realize what a mistake I have just made. Clary, all I want is Clary. Yet her I am, another girl wrapped in my arms.  
><em>What is wrong with me?<em>


	4. Meeting Jessica

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments.**  
><strong>Clary's P.O.V<strong>

_I walk down a dark ally and round a corner. Dead end. I start to panic. I have to get away...from what? I hear the sounds of giggling and running. Jace and the blond beauty round the corner. Jace punches her up against the wall and kisses her. He kisses her like he kisses me. _  
><em> "Jace!" I scream. He doesn't look up. He can't hear me. I walk over and try to grab his shoulder. My hand passes right through him like I am made of mist and nothing more. <em>  
><em> "Oh no. No no no..." I whisper. Suddenly my surroundings change. I am in a white room and the Jace and the blonde-haired person is looking at me with hate filled eyes. <em>  
><em> The two blondes smirk in unison and talk as one, as if they had practiced this moment down to the last detail. <em>  
><em> "Why are you here, Clary?" They say, Their voices echo around the room. "You're not wanted here, Clary." Jace walks until he is right in front of me. "I don't want you, Clary."<em>

I bolt up I bed, tears streaming down my face. The details of the dream are fading slowly and for that, I am grateful. I hastily wipe the tears from my face and jump out of bed. I take a shower and pull on some sweat pants and a tank top. It's August. The nights here are a bit chilly but during the day, it's like we are walking in a never ending sauna.  
>I pull my knotted hair into a messy bun and pull on my green sketchers. As I emerge from my room, Jace's door also opens. I look up and stop in my tracks. The woman he was with last night walks out giggling. Jace stands in the doorway grinning like a kid in a candy store.<br>My heart stops as he leans down and kisses her. Tears burn the back of my eyes and a lump forms in my throat. Jace looks up then and his smile falters. The blonde turns to look at me and instantly looks ashamed.  
>Jace looks down sadly and closes the door without a word. The girl looks at me a moment longer before turning to go. Something comes over me and I start to speak.<br>"What's your name?" I ask demandingly. She looks at me, eyes wide.  
>"Jessica," she says. She smirks a little and continues, "And you must be Clary. Now I see why he needed something a bit...more." She smiles coyly and hot anger boils inside me. I get close to her face and speak lowly.<br>"Look here you bitch. Jace might have gone to you for sex, but let me make one thing perfectly clear to you. He will never, and I mean _neve_r love you like he loved me. He might not ever love you. And as far as I'm concerned, you're just some whore who slept with my boyfriend." Her eyes flash with anger. Her mouth opens and closes but she can't find anything to say. I smirk and walk towards the dining hall, flipping her off over my shoulder for good measure.  
>Isabelle pulls me into the kitchen as soon as I enter the dining hall.<br>"What the hell do you want, Izzy?" I snap as soon as the door closes.  
>"Hmmm. Someone had a bad morning, Spill," she says, unaffected by my hostility. I apologize and tell her about my encounter with Jessica.<br>"Clary! Who knew you had such a bitchy side," she says laughing. I smile and head towards the fridge. I pull out the orange juice and search the cab it's for some vodka. Finding both that and a glass I pour it half-and-half and down it in one gulp.  
>"Clary? What has gotten into you?" Izzy asks shocked.<br>"I've enhanced my inner bitch. So what are we doing today?"  
>She smiles and a evil glint reaches her eyes. "That is for me to know and you to find out. Now come on so I can dress you," she says.<br>I groan loudly and grab the bottle of vodka. "I'm going to need this if I'm going _anywher_e with you," I mutter. She laughs and drags me to her room.


	5. Shopping trips and Surprises

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments.**

**Clary's POV**

"Yay, Shopping!" I yelled when we pulled up in front of the mall. Izzy looks at me amused before shutting off the car.

"This should be interesting," she mumbles. I open my door and go to exit the car only to bad my head on the roof of the car.

"Owwww..." I whined, "Izzy the cars beating me up! Make it stop!"

Izzy chuckled and helped me out the car. I go to take a step and fall again. _Damn heels!_ _This is the _last _time I let Izzy dress me. _I scowl up at her as she helps me up again. She fixes the dress she lent me and checks my makeup. _How the hell did she get makeup on me? _

We walk up to the doors. Well Izzy walks; I stumble and trip over my feet until I reach the door. _This should be fun..._

**Two Hours Later **

We walk out of the last store, arms loaded with bags of clothes and shoes and jewelry, and anything else you can get at the mall. This is our fourth trip to the car to put stuff up and judging by the look on Izzy's face; we are far from done. We've been to almost every clothing store in the mall along with all the shoe stores.

"Izzy, can we take a break?" I whine when we reach the car.

"Relax Carissa. We're done here." She says, smiling slightly. My grin quickly falls when I realize the true meaning to her words. "No, Izzy! No more shopping!" I demand.

"Again, chill ax dude. We're not going shopping. We're getting your lip pierced...and maybe you bellybutton." She eyes me curiously and nods sharply. "Get in the car."

I groan and climb in, grabbing a bag from the backseat. "What's that?" Izzy asks, not recognizing the bag. I smile and pull the bottle out.

"Really Carissa? As if you aren't drunk enough." She says Chuckling. I shrug and take a swig from the bottle.

Izzy backs the car out of the spot and speeds down the freeway. "You do realize you can't _make _me pierce my body, right?" I say.

Izzy shoots me a look that says she can and she will if I resist. As we drive my thoughts become more and more hazy. Soon I am rambling on and on for no reason at all. My speech is slightly slurred but I think Izzy catches most of what I say. Eventually I doze off but thankfully, I don't dream.

I wake to something sharp and hard poking through my lip.

"Arrrrhhh!" I scream. My eyes fly open and stare up into unfamiliar ones. I scowl and push him out the way.

"Isabelle Lightwood! I'm gonna fucking _kill _you!" I feel the lip ring on my lip and get distracted. I lick the hoop until Izzy walks in.

"I thought you were gonna kill me," she says smirking. I shoot here a glare and lift up my shirt confirming that that's already pierced too.

"What the _hell _Izzy! You couldn't have woken me up!?" I glare at her as she laughs. "Take me back to the institute. And I'm not talking to you for the rest of the day," I say, deadly serious. She fake pouts and we head to the car.

"At least I don't have to hear about how much you miss Sebastian..." She mutters under her breath.

**Jace's POV**

I scowl up at my ceiling when someone starts banging on my door.

"Go away!" I yell.

"Open the god damn door Jace! It's Jessica!" She replies through the door.

I stand up with a huff and open the door.

"I'm not in the mood, Jessie. Come back later," I say in a monotone.

Hurt flashes in her eyes but she smiles to cover it up.

"I didn't come here for that. I have to tell you something," she says calmly.  
>I walk over to the bed and plop down.<br>"Okay, what do you have to tell me?" I ask curiously. The look on her face is unreadable as she starts talking. Shock sets in as what she says registers in my head. I stop listening after a while and put my head in my hands.  
><em> What am I going to do? <em>I start to panic and ask Jessica to leave. She leaves quietly and makes me promise to call her as soon as i calm down. For the second time in two days, I wonder what exactly wrong with me.  
><em>Pregnant? She's pregnant. <em>


	6. Author's Note

This is an Author's Note, and I know that people don't like to read them but please take the time to. I want to know what you guys think I should do with Jace and Jessica. Here are a couple of options but feel free to submit your own ideas.

A) Jace and Jessica fall in love and keep the baby

B) Jessica gives the baby up for adoption and moves back to Australia

C) Jessica dies in a demon attack after the baby is born and Jace takes care of the baby

I would also like to know what you guys think the gender of the baby should be. Please do not ask me to kill Jessica off before she has the baby. I'm not that cruel.

Thank you-booklover3200

comment your answers


	7. Pandemonium

**Disclaimer: I do not ownTheMortal Instruments series.**

**Clary'sPOV**

I wake with a pounding headache and groan when I hear knocking on the door. I glace at my clock and groan again. _3:00 a.m. Whodoesthat? _I grumble and drag myself out of bed to open the door.

"Just a warning, if you some me up at three a.m. for something stupid I swear on the Angle that I will murder you," I say opening the door.

"Well, unless you consider my return stupid, I don't think you'll be disappointed," A familiar voice responds. I throw open the door the rest of the way and see Sebastian's smirking face.

"Bastian!" I say a little loudly. He pulls me into a hug and spins me around. "When did you get back?"

He looks at his watch and then back at me and then back at the watch. "Umm...I don't really know. I took a portal and didn't quite end up in the right spot. I'd say I got in _NewYork_around one a.m,". He says, his facing burning.

I pull him into the room and close the door.

"Well, what was it like?" I ask curiously. He thinks for a moment before answering.

"It was nice, I guess. I mean the people were nice. The training was exhausting but it helped a lot. But if I do go back to Australia I'm not staying during the summer. I got sunburned so many times I thought my skin was going to be red forever." He shudders jokingly and continues. "But enough about me, how are you? Did you meet the girl they sent to replace me while I was gone?"

"Girl, what girl?" I ask, confused.

"You didn't meet her? She didn't stay at the Institute but I thought you would have met her once at least." He says, his eyebrows raising in confusion.

"I don't think I did," I say.

"Well, I guess Jessica wanted to keep to herself this time," he says chuckling.

My heart stops. "Did you just say Jessica?" I ask.

He nods his head and looks at me confused.

"Well I guess I have been acquainted with her," I say.

He must have read the look on my face because his features turn up in concern.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"Nothing," I say a bit harshly.

"Clary, I know you like the back of my hand, and I know that something is wrong," he says moving closer. "I'm here for you, always,"

I look up at him and take in a deep breath. And i talk. I tell him everything. I tell him about walking up on Jessica and Jace and I tell him about Idly convincing me to stay. I leave out the part about our plan for revenge and say the shopping trip was just to make me feel better.

"I'm so sorry, Clary," He says softly. I smile and yawn. "Are you tired?" He asks.

"No dip, Sherlock. You did wake me up at 3:00 a.m." I say sourly.

He smirks and sprawls out over my bed. I frown before moving closer. "C'mere," he says yawning. I giggle and move to lay beside him, snuggling close to him.

"I missed this," He whispers. I know that he is remembering the same thing I am. All the sleepovers with him and Simon when we were little.

"Me too," I whisper back. He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me closer. I snuggle into his chest and inhale his scent. He smells like he always has. Like lemons and soap. It brings back a lot of memories.

He holds me tight to his chest, like he thinks I will run away. We fall asleep like that. Wrapped in each others arms.

**I am so so so sorry for the VERY LATE update. I promise to work harder to update more often. I am also very sorry that it is so short. I promise the next one will be longer! Thank you all my lovely followers! :D**


	8. New Information

**Disclaimer: I do not nor have I ever owned The Mortal Instruments. Nor will I ever, unfortunately. **

**Clary's POV**

_I run down an ally, heart pounding. The only sounds are my panting breath and the sound of my feet slapping against the pavement. I can't remember what i'm running from, but I can't stop. I'm not the one in control right now. I can't will my feet to slow down and stop. I can't even find my own voice. _

_I round a corner and suddenly my feet halt. I try to move my feet forward, but my brain doesn't seem to be wired to them anymore. I can't even turn my head. I have no free will at all. My heart beats in my throat and my breath comes in short spurts. _

_ "Why are you here?" Someone whispers in my ear. There's someone behind me but I can't turn my head to look at them. I can feel their breath on my neck. "Why are you here? We don't want you here, Clary. No one wants you," They say. My breath catches in my throat as I realize who it is. _

_Control seems to have come back to me as i whirl around only to find no one. I stare, confused, at the spot I'm sure he was just standing at. _

_"Jace?" I whisper softly. There's a tap on my shoulder and I turn slowly to find him standing directly behind me. _

_"Why are you still here, Clary. You should have left a long time ago, you don't belong here. No one wants you here," He says, smirking. "I. Don't. Want. You."_

I bolt up in my bed, tears streaming down my face. I'm tangled up in the sheet and I absently reach a hand out, searching for Sebastian. No one's there. I get up and walk around the bed, making sure he didn't fall off. He has a tendency to do that.

"Sebastian," I say quietly. The bathroom door opens and he walks out.

"Clary, what's wrong, sweetheart?" He asks pulling me into his arms. I let out a strangled sob and clutch his chest.

"He doesn't want, he never wanted me. No one is ever going to want me..." I rambling now, but I can't really bring myself to care. The dream keeps playing in my head repeatedly.

"Shhhh, It's okay, sweetheart. It's okay," He says soothingly, stroking my hair. "Come on and lay back down."

He leads me to the bed and we crawl under the blankets together. We fall asleep like that for the second time that night.

**Sebastian's POV**

I lay next to Clary and listen to her gentle breathing. She snuggles closer to me and I wrap my arms tighter around her. Her little body molds perfectly against me. She looks so cute sleeping peacefully. She's so beautiful. _Keep it together Sebastian! She's your best friend! _

She sighs in her sleep and tries to snuggle closer, but is already as close as we can possibly be, which isn't really helping my current situation. He face is extremely close to mine; I could kiss her if I wanted too. _God, stop being a creep! _

I try to focus on something else, anything else, and my mind immediately goes to Jace and Jessica. Hot anger burns through my veins as I think of what he did to her. I should tell her what I know about Jessica's current state of being, but it would just destroy her. I don't want her to hurt any more than she has to right now, but she will find out eventually.

The sun has just started to stream through the curtained window when Clary starts to stir in her sleep.

"Good morning, Clary," I whisper. She looks up at me and smiles before pulling out of my arms. Cold air rushes around me as she pulls her warmth away. I want her to lay back down with me so that I can hold her just a little bit longer, but I know that she will never belong to me, so what's the point?

"Good morning, 'bastian," She says groggily. God, I love it when she calls me that. It's so cute.

"Are you okay?" I ask, remembering her sob fest last night. She nods her head slowly, but I am not convinced. I again think about telling her about Jessica. Should I do it? Do I really want to be the one to tell her?

"I'm going to go shower," She says suddenly and hurries out of the bed and into the bathroom. I hear the lock turn as soon as the door shuts and sigh loudly. I have to tell her. I need to tell her before she finds out through someone else. God, I really just want to kill Jace right now. And if it wouldn't hurt Clary I would. I lay back down on the bed, arm thrown over my eyes.

The bathroom door opens a little bit later and I sit up. Clary's hair is wet and hanging in ringlets around her face, reaching almost to her hips. He big green eyes are red rimed and bloodshot, like she just got done crying. Even in her gray sweatpants and Big Bang theory T-Shirt she's beautiful.

My heart wrenches as I think about what I am about to do.

"Clary, I have to tell you something," I start slowly. She looks at me curiously and sits on the bed.

"What is it?" She asks.

"Well, you know how Jessica was sent here because I had to go to Australia?" I ask. She nods and I continue. "Well, I stayed with her family while I was there. We met before she left and she sent her parents updates every week. She said that she had met someone here. I had no idea that when she said someone she meant Jace. The last update she sent was a couple days ago, right before I left. Clary, she said she was pregnant," I say it all with a shaky voice.

Clary's eyes fill with tears, but she holds them back. "She's pregnant," she repeats. I nod sadly and she lets the first tear fall.

I pull her towards me and she buries her head in my chest, sobbing heavily.

I stroke her hair and murmur words of comfort to her. "It's okay Clary, calm down. I'll help you through this."


	9. What do I do now?

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments series.**

**Jessica's POV**

I stand in front of the mirror in my tiny bathroom in my tiny apartment not too far from the New York Institute. I run a hand across my bare belly. Nothing, it's still as flat as ever and yet there was someone growing in there. My son or daughter was growing in there. It didn't seem possible.

I feel a tear roll down my cheek and wipe it away, not wanting to cry right now. I pull my pajama shirt over my head and leave the bathroom. I crawl into my bed and pull the blankets up to my chin. The sunlight was just starting to peek through my curtains, but I was just getting to bed. I had stayed up the whole night after telling Have about my pregnancy.

_God, Jace._ I knew it was wrong, the feelings I had for this boy who was already so desperately in love with someone else and even more wrong to act on them but I couldn't change what happened. I couldn't change the fact that I was in love with Jace Herondale.

I just had to keep in mind the fact that there is no way he would ever or could ever love me back. He has Clary, and, truth be told, she deserves him so much more than I do.

More tears start to roll down my face, but I can't stop these thoughts once they start. I'll never be with Jace. We will never be married and we will never raise this child together. My body shakes with sobs now and I bury my head into my pillow.

There was no way out of this situation. I would kill myself before I killed this baby or gave it up. My mind circles back to the same question I've asked myself since the day I met Jace. _What do I do now?_

**Jace's POV**

I toss and turn until the light starts to peek into the room behind my curtains. I keep turning my conversation with Jessica over and over in my head. What was I suppose to do with this. With the knowledge that the girl that is not my girlfriend is pregnant. With my child. The words even sound weird in my mind.

This wasn't how this was supposed to happen. I was suppose to have married Clary and started a family with her. Not gone off and gotten someone I barely knew pregnant.

Thinking about these things made my head hurt. I groaned and turned over again, burying my head in the pillow.

I can't lay here and tell myself that after having Jessica around for those few short months that I don't feel _anythin_g for her. It wasn't how I felt about Clary, I would never feel that way with anyone else but her. I would never love anyone as much as I love Clary.

_Love? _

Was I in love with Jessica? Could I ever fall in love with Jessica? Maybe I already have.

I'm confusing myself, thinking about these things.

_Pregnant, Jessica was pregnant. Jessie was having _my _baby. Jessica not Clary. _

Oh god, Clary. How was I supposed to tell her this?

I ask myself again the same question I've asked myself since I met Jessica.

_What do I do now?_

**Sebastian's POV**

_I love you, 'bastian. _

I play the words repeatedly in my head trying to make them man something more, more than just friendship. I don't think it's possible.

I bang my head against the bathroom door and let out a long frustrated sigh. Why did my feelings for have to be so complicated? Why couldn't I just have friendly feelings for her. Or be gay. Yeah, that would make things a lot easier. But with my luck, I'd probably end up in love with Simon or Jace.

I shudder and push those thoughts away. I bang my head on the door again, a little too hard this time.

"_Shitt_t," I hiss under my breath. Suddenly, Clary swings the door open and steps inside.

"Dude, why the _hell _have you been banging your head against the door for the last five minutes?" She asks, concern lacing her voice. She looks at me with her large green eyes seemingly even larger with worry.

_She's so beautiful._

I groan again and turn away from her.

"Dude, seriously. Who broke your crayons?" She asks, still concerned.

I turn back around to look at her and I know I am very close to losing all of my self-control.

"Clary, please leave," I say quietly.

She scrunches her eyebrows up. "What? Why?" She asks moving closer. I back up until my back hits the wall.

"Clary, just trust me. I might do something really stupid if you stay in here," I say, trying to keep my voice even. She takes another step forward and we are almost touching. She's so short, only reaching to my chest.

If she keeps looking at me or standing close, I might just snap and kiss her. Oh god if she said her nickname for me...,

"'Bastian, what's wrong?" Shit, she said it. My hands shoot out and grab her around the waist, pulling her against me. Her breath catches and I can see the surprise in her eyes.

I start to lean down, fully planning to place my lips on hers but something stops me. What if she doesn't want me? What if she does? I don't want to just be Clary's rebound. I want her to love me the way I love her. I start to lean back again but she reaches up and loops her arms around my neck.

I stand there, stunned for a moment, one thought running through my head.

_What do I do now?_


	10. I Might Kiss You

**Disclaimer: I do not, unfortunately, hold any rights to The Mortal Instruments Series...**

**Clary's POV**

I hear a banging sound from inside the bathroom again. It has been going on for about five minutes now so Sebastian is either having a seizure or banging his head, aggressively, against my bathroom door.

I stand up from the bed and walk over to the door, throwing it open.

"Dude, why the _hell have_ you been banging your head against the door for the last five minutes?" I ask my concern evident even to me.

He just stares at me but something is off in his eyes. His deep brown eyes, so dark that they are almost black, are crazed. Like he's going to attack someone at any second.

He groans and walks away from me, towards the other end of the room.

"Dude, seriously. Who broke your crayons?" I ask. It used to be one of his biggest pet peeves, probably still is. He would get so mad about a broken crayon...

He turns again to look about, the crazed look still in his eyes.

"Clary, please leave," he says, his voice strained.

I take a step toward him, drawing my eyebrows up in confusion. "What? Why?" I ask. He steps backwards until his back hits the wall.

"Clary, just trust me. I might do something really stupid if you don't leave now," he says obviously struggling to keep his voice even.

Why does he want me to leave? What's wrong with him?

I step closer to him and we are almost touching. I can feel the heat coming off him and see his muscles straining, like he wants to grab something but can't.

I look up at him and realize how truly beautiful he is. _So gorgeous._

Whoa, Clary. Focus. _Gorgeous, since when did I think like that about my _best _friend?_

I refocus and stare up at him. "'Bastian, what's wrong?" I ask. Something in his eyes changes and his hand shoot out and grab me around my waist, pulling me against him.

My breath catches with surprise. I can every curve of our bodies pressed together. They fit so...perfectly. _like we were made for each other. _

Suddenly all I want to do is kiss him. He starts to lean down and I let my eyes flutter closed but I don't feel his lips against mine. I open my eyes again to find him staring at me, a war raging behind his eyes.

Then it hits me. Jace. He's thinking about me and Jace. My heart clenches. I don't want to think about Jace right now; not about him, or the baby, or Jessica. All I want to do is feel Sebastian's lips on mine and his arms wrapped around me.

I link my arms around his neck at tilt my head up. He looks surprised for a moment but then asks a question with his eyes.

_What do I do now? _This is what he wants to know.

I wrap my arms tighter around his neck and pull his face closer to mine.

"Clary," he says his voice barely more than a whisper. "Clary, I might kiss you."

In lean up and press my lips against his ear. "I might like it," I whisper.

He looks at me a moment longer before leaning his head the rest of the way down and covering my lips with his.

**Sebastian's POV**

Fireworks. Explosions. That's what it feels like to kiss Clary. Our lips move together perfectly, like dancing to your favorite song.

She taste like, god I don't even know what she taste like and I don't have time to think about it. The only thought in my head is some little voice screaming, YOU ARE KISSING CLARY!

I part her lips with mine and let my tongue creep into her mouth. She groans quietly and I stop pulling back slightly.

We catch our breath, clinging to each other.

" 'Bastian?" She says. _That damned nickname..._

"Hmmm," I respond.

"I might kiss you," she says, smirking and again, her lips touch mine.


	11. Caught

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments Series**

**Sebastian's POV**

Our lips move together and I slip my tongue back into her mouth. She winds her fingers into my hair and tugs lightly. I growl deep in my throat and pick her up. She wraps her legs around my waist and tugs me closer. I grind into her and she gasps against my mouth.

I don't know where this is going, all I know is that I don't want to stop. I don't ever want to stop and we don't. When the bedroom door opens we don't stop and we don't stop when the door slams closed.

**Jace's POV**

I walk quickly down the hallway to Clary's bedroom. I have to tell her about Jessica. I don't want to keep this from her, she shouldn't find out from anybody but me. She deserves that much.

I don't knock, because I know she won't open the door for me right now. I open the door and step into the room. She's not sleeping, but the bathroom light is on and the door is open. Maybe she's doing her hair.

I walk towards the bathroom but stop in the doorway.

There is no mistaking that blonde hair. Sebastian. Nor is there any mistaking Clary's favorite green sketchers. Clary's small legs are wrapped around Sebastian's waist and they cling together, Clary occasionally making small noises in the back of her throat.

My heart clenches painfully and I race out the room, slamming the door behind me. I don't stop running until I'm on the street in front of Jessica's apartment building.

_Clary and... Sebastian. When the hell did Sebastian get here?_

I walk into the building and climb the stairs to the second floor. I stood outside Jessica's apartment, hesitating.

Should I really be here right now?

I knock.

Jessica opens the door and when her eyes land on me her smile brightens.

"Hey, Jace!" She says. She steps aside and gestures for me to come in. I glance around the small living room and immediately notice the suitcases sitting on the couch.

"You're leaving," I say. My smile falls and it all seems like too much. I feel tears sting the back of my eyes.

"You can't leave me, Jessie. Please don't leave me." I say pleadingly. She looks at me, her face a mask of pain.

"I have to, Sebastian is back and my family needs me there," she says reaching for my hands.

I let her grab them and lace our fingers together. I stare into her beautiful eyes and something clicks.

"Then I'll come with you."

Her eyes get big and her smile returns.

"Really? What about Clary? And the Lightwoods?" She asks. Even though she sounds concerned, I can tell she's just asking for my benefit.

"They'll be fine without me, besides, they aren't the ones having my baby," I say. "Jessie, you and this baby, you are the only ones I have left. Once everyone else finds out what I did to Clary, they'll hate me. I can't live with that."

Her eyes shine and I pull her to me, hugging her close.

"I love you, Jace," she says against my chest.

Even though I'm not sure I love her, I know I'm falling for her and that's good enough for right now.

"I love you too, Jessie."


	12. You're my First

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments Series.**

**Clary's POV**

Sebastian presses me against the wall, my legs still wrapped around his waist. Our tongues dance together as we kiss.

I grind into him and he lets out a strangled sound. He moves his mouth from mine and kisses my chin, working down to my neck. He sucks on my pulse and I moan.

"'Bastian, bed. Now," I say, gasping. He grips my legs and carries me out of the bathroom and to the bed, still trailing kisses along my neck.

He lays me on the bed and climbs on top of me, returning his lips to mine.

He runs his hands up my body and rests them on my hips, pulling me as close as possible. I fist my hands in his hair and he growls low in his throat.

He stops.

"Clary, you have to tell me what to do. If you don't stop me I'm not going to be able to control myself," he says, his voice straining.

"Then don't stop," I whisper, pulling his face back down so I can capture his lips in mine.

**Sebastian's POV**

Clary flips us over so that she is straddling me. My breath hitches. We are really doing this. She really wants me.

My thoughts halt when Clary moves to take her shirt off.

_She's so beautiful._

I reach up and run my hands over the flat plain of her stomach.

She shivers.

"You're so beautiful," I murmur.

I sit up so that I can wrap my arms around her and kiss her again.

"Are you sure you want this?" I ask.

She looks me in the eye.

"I want this," she says, her voice unwavering.

***************************************************  
>I lay in bed, Clary's naked body pressed up against mine. We both fight to catch our breath and Clary snuggles up against me.<p>

"Now I know why everyone makes such a big deal about sex," I say after a while, chuckling.

"What? It's not like you're a virgin," she says scrunching her face up.

"Well not after that," I say, my face heating up. Understanding dawns on her face.

"You're my first, Clary."

She grins and places a soft kiss on my lips.

We drift off to sleep, wrapped in each other's arms.


	13. Gone

Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments Series.

Clary's POV

Eight months later...

I still remember the day he left. It's as if it happened yesterday.

I was just leaving the bedroom to grab breakfast for me and Sebastian when he stopped me.

"Clary, I need to talk to you," he said, his voice laced with sadness.

I nodded once and he continued. Something about the way he looked told me I needed to listen.

"I'm leaving," he said. I felt my eyes widen and my eyebrows go up in confusion.

"What do you mean you're leaving?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Well, I assume you probably know about the baby, considering that you've spent and awful lot of time with Sebastian and the little leech seems to know everything," he said impatiently.

I nodded again, ignoring the insults against Sebastian. They had never liked each other, why start now?

"Jessica, well she has to go back to Australia," he started, "and I'm going with her. I want to be a father to our child, and I can't do that if I'm here. I'm sorry Clary."

I felt tears sting the back of my eyes but I forced them away. My throat was tight and I couldn't say anything, so I just nodded again trying to push past him.

"Clary, wait." He said. I stopped but didn't turn to look at him. "I love you. I will always love you. But I love Jessica too. And I can't leave her alone with my child. I can't." His voice broke a little at the end and I felt my heart break.

So I walked away. I didn't say anything or even look at him. Looking back now I'm sure I should have said something, anything.

The feel of blood running down my hand brings me back to reality. My knuckles are cut and bleeding from training today and I silently curse myself for getting distracted.

I walk out of the training room and down the corridor until I reach my bedroom. Well I guess our bedroom now. Me and Sebastian's. We started sharing a room a little after Jace left. Sebastian came to me and suggested that we just stay in the same room together since we usually ended up in the same room every night.

He also told me he loved me.

I didn't say it back.

Something about what Jace did left me broken. I stopped wearing the clothes Izzy bought for me, took out my lip ring but kept the belly one. Sebastian liked it.

Soon I forgot about the whole plan. Our plan to make Jace suffer. Funny how I was the one who ended up in pain.

I loved Sebastian, on some level, one that I'm not sure of yet. But I'm scared to be in love again. I got my heart broken once, who says it couldn't happen again?

I walk into my room and strip out of my shorts and tank top. I go into the bathroom and run the water as hot as I can get it and stand under it until my skin is red and it runs cold.

I step out and look at myself in the mirror. I looks the same. Same big green eyes, same fiery red hair. Same Clary.

I look away and pull on my bra and underwear, not bothering to get dressed as I exit the bathroom and crawl under the covers on the bed.

I stare at the ceiling, waiting for sleep to take over, and eventually it does.

Jaces's POV

"Dammit, Jessica! You're supposed to be in bed!" I exclaim when I walk through the door of our two bedroom apartment. Jessica stand at the kitchen counter, furiously scrubbing at it with a Clorox wipe.

She faces me and scowls, placing a hand on her swollen belly.

"Well I would be in bed if you knew how to clean up after yourself!" She says.

"Well you wouldn't know it was a mess in her if you would keep your ass in bed like you're supposed to," I say back. She scowls again and throws the wipe into the trash before waddling to the living room and settling on the red loveseat.

The apartment has and open floor plan with only a half wall dividing the modern kitchen and living room. Off the living room is a hallway that leads to the two bedrooms and bathroom.

"Jessie, you have to rest and you know that," I say, walking over to sit by her. I place my arm around her and she leans against me.

"I know," she sighs. "But it's so fricken hard. I feel like I need to be doing something," she says.

"You are doing something," I say softly, placing a kiss on her head. "You're keeping our daughter safe."

She lifts her head and smiles at me. I place a soft kiss on her lips and stand back up.

"Okay, what do you want for dinner?" I ask.

"Chinese!" She says rubbing her belly. "Yup, the little one defiantly wants Chinese today." I chuckle and grab the keys from where I left them on the coffee table.

"I'll be back in a little, don't do anything while I'm gone. Don't even go pee, understand?" I say.

"Yes sir!" She says giving a mock salute as open the door.

"I love you, Jessie," I say before leaving.

"I love you too," she says just before the door shuts.

Two days later

So much can happen in just a minute. So much can change. I was gone fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes and my whole life changed. Fifteen minutes and Jessica's life was in peril.

I came back, the bag of food in my hand to open the door and see the demon, hacking away at Jessica.

I honestly don't remember what happened after that. I remember telling myself that I have to safe her, them. And then I remember the demon hissing and winking out of existence as it disappeared.

I quickly picked Jessica up, praying to a God I'm not sure I believe in for her to be okay.

She wasn't.

We got to the hospital and the first look from the doctor after they took her told me she wasn't.

I buried my face in my hands and felt the first tears roll down my cheeks. I lost her. I lost her and the baby...the baby.

I looked up quickly and saw that the doctor was still standing there, liked he still had something to say.

"The baby, did she...did she survive?" I asked, my voice cracking. He smiled slowly and nodded.

Knowing that my baby, our baby, had made it stitched together a little of my broke heart. Not all of it, but enough to get me up and down the hall to see her.

"She's a pre-me so she's going to have to stay in the hospital for a couple of weeks, and we're going to need you to stay in town for the first few months of her life so we can do regular checkups," the doctor says before we enter the room. I nod and he opens the door. A machine that kind of looks like an incubator holds my daughter.

My breath catches.

She looks just like Jessica. She blinks at me with big blue eyes and her head is full of soft curly blond hair. She beautiful, just like her mother.

"Can-can I hold her?" I ask. The doctor looks at me sadly.

"Not yet, but hopefully in a few days. We have to make sure she's stable first. But you can touch her," he says, opening a little hatch in the side.

I slip my hand in and take one of her small soft hands in mine. Another tear rolls down my cheek.

"What's her name?" The doctor asks.

"Skyler. Jessica wanted to name her Skyler. Skyler Herondale." I say softly. Skyler's eyes fall shut slowly and she drifts off to sleep. I take my hand out and shut the hatch.

"Can I see Jessica?" I ask. The doctor nods and gestures for me to follow him. We walk down a short hallway and stop in front of a door. The doctor looks at me.

"I'll let you go in alone. Let you say you're goodbyes," he says. He walks away and I open the door.

Jessica lays on the bed, place and lifeless in a hospital gown.

This is not how she was supposed to die. She was supposed to grow old with me and watch he little girl grow up and each her grandchildren toddle around our house. She was supposed to be here now to see her daughter.

I walk to the chair beside her bed and sit down, taking one of her cold hands in mine.

"Jessie, I can't believe this. I can't believe I'm sitting in this room talking to you, and you're not going to be able to say anything back. I can't believe that you won't see your daughter. She beautiful, like you. She looks identical to you," I say, my voice thick with tears.

"How am I supposed to do this Jessie? I don't know how to be a father. I need you," I say, sobbing now. I lean up and place a gentle kiss on her cold cheek.

"I love you, forever." I say, knowing that I won't ever here her voice again. Will never see her laugh, or cry. Will never feel her skin against mine or her lips on mine. I will never have another child with her, and we will never be married. She's gone. And there's no bringing her back.


	14. Chapter Thirteen- I will always love you

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments Series.**

**Jace's POV**

**Six Months Later...**

I stand outside the Institute, Skyler cooing in my arms, and look up at its looming figure. It has been too long since I have been inside of it's walls. I left everything here. Everything and everyone. I wonder if they will take me back.

I know that Clary will be here. That she'll take one look at me and run. I don't deserve to have her back, and I am not going to try. I have a daughter now and I cannot waste my time fighting for something I will never get back.

I sigh and walk through the doors. The institute looks the same as it has for all of my life. Nothing has changed. I walk easily to my old room after exiting the elevator and open my door. Everything is exactly the same. No one even bothered to move my stuff out, like somehow they knew I would be back.

I lay Skyler down on the bed. She is small for her age, but that is just because she was born early. She looks identical to Jessie. She could be her twin. Sometimes looking at her hurts to much and I have to leave the room, but I always come back. I wouldn't be able to leave my baby, not for anything.

I start to go through the things in the closet. I strip out of the clothes I wore on the plane rides here and change into a fresh black t-shirt and black skinny jean. I walk barefoot back to the bed and pick Skyler up.

She is still wide-awake even though she hasn't had a nap all day. I rock her gently until she falls asleep in my arms. I lay her back down on the bed and lay down beside her.

I listen to her gentle breathing and watch her eyes stir beneath her closed lids. She reminds me every day of Jessie, and sometimes it's almost too much. My heart clenches now thinking about her.

I don't know how I have survived the last six months. All the doctor's visits and the not knowing. The not knowing was the worst; not knowing if I was going to lose her too, not knowing if I could handle being a parent on my own and not knowing if I was going to want to live through the night without Jessie there to comfort me.

Tears have started rolling down my cheeks as I lay here, watching Skyler. She smiles in her sleep and starts cooing quietly. Hers brings a smile to my own face and I wipe my cheeks, getting up to go to the kitchen. I set up a baby monitor I brought with me from Australia, and take the other walkie talkie looking device with me.

I walk down the hall and through the dining room. I stop in the doorway to the kitchen. A familiar head of red hair is bent over a plate of macaroni. She looks up when she hears me enter and her face pales.

Clary is still as beautiful as ever and I can't stop the pain in my chest when I look at her.

She steps away from the island counter, her food forgotten.

"Hi, Clary," I say sheepishly.

Her eyes blaze.

"What are you doing here?" She asks her voice hard.

"I-I came back, I couldn't stay there alone," I say, stuttering.

"Couldn't do what alone?" She asks confused. Hmm. I thought Alec or Izzy would have told her. I sent them a message telling them that Jessica had died and I was coming back just as soon as I got the all clear from Skyler's doctor.

"Alec and Izzy didn't tell you?" I ask.

"Tell me what?" She asks, folding her arms over her tank-top clad chest. My eyes roam over her body before I answer. She looks like she hasn't been getting any sleep. They are dark purple shadows under her eyes and her skin look pasty. He jogging pants hang baggy on her hips and her fingernails are bit down low.

"Jessie died. Skyler didn't'. I came back," I say, wanting to keep it simple for now. Her face softens and she drops her arms, taking a step towards me.

"I'm sorry, Jace," She says. "I didn't know. Is Skyler your baby?" she asks.

I nod.

"I bet she's beautiful," Clary says with a small smile.

"She looks just like Jessie," I say. Clary's smile falters a little but she brings it back.

She steps closer until she's right in front of me and hugs me around the waste.

"I really am sorry, Jace. What happened is horrible. No kid should grow up without their mother," She says. "I know you loved her. I really am sorry that you lost her."

I wrap my arms around Clary and hold her close.

"Thank you. It means a lot, Clary," I say.

Then something happens that I hadn't expected. Something that I thought I would never be able to do again.

I kiss Clary.

And she doesn't push away. Our lips move together gently and I feel tears roll down my face.

Clary pulls back slightly.

"Why are you crying, Jace?" She asks.

"Because I love you," I say.

"I love you too," She whispers. "I will always love you."


End file.
